Today
Yesterday
May 16th
No Americans Were Harmed in the Making of This Motion Picture.
Recent Funnies
Best Buy Is Hiring A New Cleaning Lady
It doesn’t take much to get hired, just be better than their last employee…
Hey, you missed a spot.
Boxing Lessons Get Mega-Real
Nerdy white guys, your trainer has arrived!
Meet 4x Natinaol Champion boxer Eric Kelly. He’s retired from the big time to give your pathetic ass some boxing lessons. So put up your dukes, because he’s about to tell you just how much you suck…
(the whole thing is solid, but you can start at :40)
This is good, but wait ’til you hear his routine on airline food.
[via Gawker]
I Hope Your Fish Likes Pee
There’s a brown trout in the toilet bowl. You might wanna flush that one.
The Best Rap About Grammar You’ll Hear Today
Wow, your right on point.
Now He’s Definitely Gonna Need A Diaper Change
You’re wasting your time, the kid’s not gonna talk. At least not for another 3 months.
This Is My Nightmare!
“Hey babe? Maybe you should go back on birth control.” –Any guy who sees this picture.
The 5 Greatest Commercials of All Time
We see about 17 trillion images in our lifetime. Unfortunately, 16.5 trillion of those images come from douchebags in suits trying to sell us toilet paper.
Still, we hold a soft spot for commercials, especially if there’s big tits or talking babies in them. And until theres a commercial for a talking baby with big tits, these will have to do — here are the five greatest commercials of all time…
5. Big Mac Is Watching You
Thanks to YouTube, we’re all familiar with Apple’s 1984 Super Bowl commercial for the Macintosh that only aired once. It’s funny that a computer that was supposed to save us from 1984 has evolved into a machine that can record everything we say and do.
Remember that next time you take a naked picture of yourself on Photo Booth.
4. McDonaldland
Question: What’s creepier, having your children get whisked away to a fantasyland where their guide is a clown, or having said clown hang out with your kids at soccer practice in REAL LIFE? The McDonald’s Corporation believed the former in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s; because of pedobear, they believe the latter now.
(ps – Answer: They’re both really f***ing creepy.)
3. You’ll Get Caught Up In The…
CROSSFIRE!!!!
Anybody who’s been reading these Top 5′s already knows my love for rocking jingles. They get no more face-melting than this.
Who else but Milton Bradley could package a crappy board game into an epic battle against good and evil? How has this not been turned into a major motion picture already??
