Today
Yesterday
Jan 25th
If that doesn’t work, move to Phase 2: Eat asparagus and start peeing on her bed while she sleeps. Then call her a bedwetter and tell her it’s her fault.
It probably won’t teach her about dating old men, but maybe she’ll listen next time.
Recent Funnies
Happy Friday!
It’s Friday, and if you’re a fan on Facebook, you know that means it’s Free Pizza Friday — the time of the week where we give away an awesome piece of pizza swag to our fans, most of whom we assume (and hope) are alcoholics.
This week, we’re ending on a high note and giving away FREE BEER KOOZIES to two lucky bastards. All you need to do is comment, like, or share on our Facebook page and you’re entered to win.
It’s that easy. Why are you still reading this? You should be entering to win free shit.
Shit Samuel L. Jackson Says
We weren’t going to post any more of these videos, but when Samuel L. Jackson speaks, you listen mothafucka!
Tell that bitch to be cool!!
Definitely Not Shopped
Yes…
…he really is that good.
Hard to believe none of those are photoshopped, right? It’s true. He came in 1st. For eating marshmallows.
What’s Your Blues Name?
This is actually way more fun that I thought it would be. Try it out:
Mine is Sticky Fingers McGee. I’m the best slide guitar player in all of Mississippi, and I like my eggs served with a side of rape.
Inside The Mind of a Judge
(start at 10 seconds…)
This is exactly what I thought was going on inside there. A hamster running on a wheel of cheese, surrounded by malt balls and bong resin.
Hello, Quiznos?
“…And a side of turkey wings.”
Happiness on a Stand
So true. The only thing that made this better was when a substitute teacher wheeled this in. When that happened, I couldn’t stand up for at least 30 minutes. (Because of the boner.)
