Ladies, tomorrow is your big day.
Sure you get Valentine’s Day and we get Steak and Blowjob Day. But tomorrow is a holiday all about you, about being free, throwing panties to the wind. Living the dream.
Some of you might be skeptical, thinking this is some sort of made up holiday like National Grilled Cheese Day or Teacher Appreciation Day. But it’s not. It’s real. It’s as real as that restrictive fabric wedged between your radiant buns.
So let loose. Be proud. And may yoga pants be your guide.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go install mirrors on the top of my shoes.